Fat cat, sat, squashed rat.
THE END
Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer
Haven’t You heard?
I am not a bad cat, I am not, no no!
I am not a bad cat, haven’t you heard?
The bird that is dead wasn’t killed by me,
I am not a bad cat, now where is my tea?
*****
A Castleknock Fact
I’m Henry the cat,
A Castleknock fact,
The cat that’s really a rat,
Spending my days lazing away,
And killing for sport ‘till I’m jacked,
If you think I’m not nice,
That is not my concern.
But remember you this if you please,
I am Castleknock Henry,
Henry the cat, enjoying myself ‘till I die.
It’s Not a Tank Top!
It’s not a tank top, it’s not, no no!
It’s not a tank top, please let it go,
It’s a slipover and I love it so much,
My wonderful slipover, why all the fuss?
farting for Sport
Henry is a horrible cat,
That’s not an opinion, it’s a simple, plain fact,
Sitting all day, doing little at all,
Just eating and sleeping and farting for sport.
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I am Castleknock Brutus
I am Castleknock Brutus, a dog, you know,
I am Castleknock Brutus, now where did he go,
That pipsqueak, that thing that calls itself cat,
Where is he at; I want Henry the cat!
I want to kill him, Brutus growled, then eat him up,
That thing, that Henry, that calls itself cat,
When I get hold of him, I will never let go,
Until he is finished and lost his cat soul.
I am here, dog Brutus, I am here before you,
Said the cat called Henry, do you think it not true?
I am not sacred of you, you silly old moo,
You won’t get me, I am going to get you!
Ha ha, barked Brutus, ha ha, he barked,
What a twat you are and not very smart,
To think you are able to do such a thing,
I am laughing so much I am almost choking.
Just then, cat Henry leapt high in the air,
And landed on Brutus who got quite a scare,
Biting hard on his neck he went for broke,
And severed the jugular; Brutus never awoke.
The moral of this, my tale of intrigue,
Is never believe the lies you preach,
Others can, despite what you think,
Finish you off before you can blink.
Henry Fell Down a Hole
There once was a cat called Henry,
Who was incredibly naughty,
He thought he was smart,
Going out in the dark,
Until he fell down in a hole, did Henry.
*
While stuck in that dark place,
Henry thought about his life, his fate,
About the jerk he had been,
To all he had seen,
So he promised to be good, did Henry.
*
Suddenly, a stick falling into that hole,
Presented a way to escape from it all,
Freed from that space,
He forgot his promise, though great.
And returned to his bad ways, did Henry.
*
Next day while Henry was alone,
He set off away from his home,
It was an incredibly hot day,
The sun shone brightly away,
He got sunstroke then died, did Henry.
*
The moral of my story is this,
Treat everyone you meet with a wish,
That their times are just fine,
Untroubled by lives of the nine,
Don’t end up like silly old Henry.
Castleknock Cat
I am a Cat, it said smiling at her,
Caslteknock Cat, you can tell by my fur,
My paws and whiskers give also a hint,
While the smile on my face is most significant.
*
I can see by your fur, said Maria – I do,
And also your paws and whiskers – it’s true,
But that smile on your face has me all in a tizz,
Coming and going in such a whiz.
*
Still smiling at her, the Cat dryly replied,
You’d never believe me; you’d think I had lied,
If the smile on my face was gone – it’s a fact,
No one would listen or look at this Cat.
*
Without offering Maria the chance to reply,
The Cat went on with his horrible lie,
Creeping closer and closer, until ever so near,
He pounced, lashed out and cut her left ear.
*
Feeling the hurt and the blood running down,
Maria groaned, I was such a clown,
To have ever believed a Cat with a grin,
Take that, and that, you horrible thing!
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 