It’s new; cola BLUE,
An icy mint flavour,
Made especially for you!
Are you willing, are you game,
To break the taboo,
Of drinking anything other than THAT cola, yes you!
*
Forget red and the white,
The new colour is blue,
I knew you would try it,
Icy cold Blue.
It’s cool and it’s bright,
A minty delight,
Drink Cola Blue,
Made especially for you!
******
Stories for children and young at heart adults
I don’t care what you call me
as long as you enjoy reading my stories
*******
The Flintstones get a phone call from the Crazymad Writer.
**********************************************
No trespassing, that’s what the words read,
No trespassing, it’s what the sign said,
As I approached the gate upon which it was on,
The words, no trespassing, dared me to come on.
*
A voice in my head told me to ignore it, that sign,
It said there was something exciting to find,
In the field behind them, gate and its sign,
Are you afraid, the voice asked, or do you think I am lying?
*
No, I am not afraid, I answered it back,
My gut feeling, though, tells me to shy away from this tack,
Are you man or a mouse? It said mocking me so,
I am a man, I answered, a man on the go.
*
So I climbed over the gate and stepped into that field,
A green, luscious sward that was ever so still,
Seeing nothing at all, there, other than grass,
I wondered, yes wondered, where it was at.
*
Suddenly, startlingly, I heard a snort and a wheeze,
Then I saw it, a bull galloping towards me,
So I darted away from it as fast as I could,
And clambered back over that gate made of wood.
*
The moral of my story, my scary story, is this,
When out in the country give gates a miss,
Don’t listen to voices inside your head,
Stick to your gut feeling, it’s safer, instead.
***************************
I don’t care what you call me
as long as you enjoy reading my stories
Don’t be like sheep that creep half asleep,
Each and every day of their lives,
Believing what is said, drummed into their heads,
By those in control, selling lies.
Instead, use your head, and question what is said,
By those who think they can guide,
You with dreams, consumer items and things,
To distract you from what is inside,
Inside of us all, potential so tall,
The power of the Universe, it’s true,
So look deep inside and search for the light,
Of Creation; waiting there especially for you.
************************
I don’t care what you call me
as long as you enjoy reading my stories
**************************
He thought he saw a politician,
Who lived the perfect life,
He looked again, and saw it was,
A huge, humongous lie .
That’s it, he said, I realise,
The foolishness of life.
It’s a mess
He thought he saw an honest man,
Within the parliament,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Another bloated blimp.
Unless they leave this house,” he said,
There’ll be no hope, I think.”
It’s a real mess!
He thought he saw a banker man,
Who made an honest buck,
He looked again, and saw he was,
Entwined in all the muck.
If I were king, he said,
His head would be on the block.
It’s a terrible mess!
He thought he saw a banker’s clerk,
A man of honest youth,
He looked again, and saw he was,
A succubus forsooth.
If he should stay, he said, for sure,
My savings I will lose.
Crikey, what a mess!
He thought he saw a kangaroo,
Hopping down his street one day,
He looked again, and saw it was,
A banker’s ill gained pay.
Were I to accept this, he said,
It would be a dark, dark day.
Mess, mess, mess!
He though he saw limousine,
With groom and bride, so sweet,
He looked again, and saw it was,
The country on its knees.
We’re lost, he said, the country’s bust,
Kaput, no more, deceased.
Fix the mess!
He though he saw a shaft of light,
That shone through all this gloom,
He looked again, and saw it was,
The cold, reflected moon.
If I were young, he said aloud,
I’d make them swing – and soon!
Get those who are responsible for the mess!
He though he saw a chink of light,
A way from all this mess,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Their New World Order – yes!
Their ways are bad, corrupt, he said
For them, not us, excess.
And when we get them, what are we going to do with them?
He thought he saw the final words,
Inscribed upon a sheet,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Them sweating from the heat.
They thought us fools, he sorely said,
Come on, we’ve lives to lead!
**************************
If THIS is what the New World Order is like, they can keep it!
I don’t care what you call me
as long as you enjoy reading my stories
It’s Monday; it came so fast,
Monday; I am aghast.
Where are the days? (They flew so fast),
As ever nearer the grave I pass.
If I could have that time again,
Oh, what changes I would make.
********************************
Although my works are primarily aimed at children,
adults also enjoy reading them. My works include such notables as:
Tales of the Extraordinary,
The Witches,
Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World,
HARRY ROTTER (she has lost her Magical Marbles),
Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad Mr Viscous,
Slug Talk,
The Tales of Beetle About,
Tales of Childhood, volumes 1 and 2,
Horrible Horace,
Stories for Boys,
The Three Faerie Sisters,
Christmas: A Carol Betwixt,
The Fog,
Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff,
Stewed Rhymes,
A Beer in a Burger Bar,
And a whole lot MORE.
Click HERE to visit my online book shop,
where you can purchase my eBooks
**********
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
I’ve just bought the new 16 valve Skoda …….4 in the engine, 12 in the radio!
(If you understand this and you are under 40 then you need to get out more)
Dunking the Mouse
Dunking the Mouse, Oh, Dunking the Mouse,
What can be better than dunking the Mouse?
Be it with a fine friend like the Rabbit, so stout,
Or on my old lonesome, I love dunking the Mouse.
*
I open the pot and stick his head in,
And before he’s awoken he’s half the way in.
With Rabbit a-helping, we finish the job,
Then put the lid on, though Mouse is beginning to sob.
*
‘Oh please let me out’, he implore us, so meek,
But why should we do that when the tea tastes so sweet?
‘Oh give me a cup of that heavenly brew’,
Says Rabbit to me, ‘and a jam tart for you’.
*
So I pour out two cups and we sit down anew,
With the tea and the tarts – and with Mouse in the brew,
Until Alice strolls by, and unsettles our ruse,
Saving Mouse from his fate and us from the noose.
***************
Click HERE to visit my online book shop,
where you can purchase my eBooks
**********
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
Ireland is a cesspit,
Mired by bankers’ waste,
Brought down by their corruption,
Destroyed – and with such haste.
*
Where, oh where is the justice,
To punish these men of shame,
To make THEM pay for what they did,
Why aren’t THEY held to blame?
*
Why is it us, the average man,
And woman who takes the pain?
What did WE do, to be punished so,
We are CERTAINLY not to blame.
*
I think it’s all a part of some,
Big plan by those up high,
To take control of the world’s affairs,
To enslave us until we die.
*
You might laugh me, and say I’m mad,
Thinking such things – and how,
But the day will come; you’ll see that I’m right,
I only wish you’d see it now.
*
I say remove those jerks, those men in suits,
Each and every one,
Politicians too; they are just as bad,
Don’t rest until they are all gone.
*
Let’s start a New World Order, I say,
In which we, the people, soar high,
Where we can live in peace and wealth,
Unchained from corrupt men’s lies.
*
This day will come, make no mistake,
Men in suits, bereft of sense,
You will be punished, held accountable,
You’ll get your comeuppance!
*******************
Aliens landed in Ballykilduff,
Aliens landed; that is a fact,
In the dark of the night it happened – it did,
At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.
*
Breda, dear Breda, wake up, will you please?
Something is happening; I am all in a tizz!
Leave me alone, she answered, because I am beat,
With those words on her lips, she fell fast asleep.
*
Donning my gown and slippers I left,
Her sleeping so soundly as into the kitchen I crept,
Searching for light; the torch, my best friend,
Then into the garden I stealthily went.
*
Down the long garden, man and torch progressed,
Then I climbed over the fence, into the field with its guests,
Pointing my torch at little grey men,
I saw Aliens a plenty around a UFO, broken.
*
What are they doing? I wondered out loud,
Signalling my place, my location – and how,
Pointing their guns, the Aliens zapped me with rays,
Blue, yellow and green, orange and grey.
*
Thinking my time was finished, all gone,
I fell to the ground, awaiting the anon,
Sorry about that, one of them said, helping me up
We thought you were a cow, wanting to gobble us up.
*
What are you doing? I asked, with curious eyes,
Seeing them cutting the grass and taking it inside,
We are refuelling our spaceship, he told me quite proud,
We get one light year per armful, he said out aloud.
*
That’s amazing, I said, can I see inside?
Sorry, he answered, it’s too small for your like,
Laughing, I asked if there was anything the need,
Yes, he told me forthrightly, can we have some tea?
*
Tea? I asked him, you drink tea way up there,
In outer space, with its atmosphere rare?
No, silly, he replied it’s to pour down our boots,
We never travel with them empty, forsooth.
*
You pour tea down your boots? I laughed out loud,
What does it do, make you fly like a bird?
It does, he told me, how did you know that?
Was your mother or father an alien, or even your cat?
*
Just then I heard something, someone calling to me,
Gerrard, wake up, its morning; here is your tea,
Opening my eyes, I saw Breda, my wife,
Offering the cup of plenty, tea, my life,
*
Where are my boots? I asked her, though still half sleep,
I want them, I need them; oh where are they please?
They are under the bed, here, she said offering them to me,
Why do you want them before drinking you tea?
*
Accepting my boots, I poured in the tea,
What on earth are you doing? she asked warily,
I don’t go anywhere, I told her, without filling them first,
Can I have another cup, I asked, because I sure have a thirst.
*
The moral of my story is this:
Don’t go anyway near Ballykilduff, GIVE IT A MISS,
For strange things are going on down that neck of the woods,
Like Aliens driving campervans – and Fiats, to boot,
*****************************
Click HERE to visit my online book shop,
where you can purchase my eBooks
**********
SOME PEOPLE CALL ME THE NEW ROALD DAHL.
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 