There once was a country called Pong,
That thought it could do nothing wrong,
It spent all its days,
Making others afraid,
Phew, what a terrible PONG!
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Category Archives: humor
There once was a country called Big
There once was a country called Big,
That cared not for anyone; not a fig,
It spent all its days,
Making other countries afraid,
Big, the country; what a frig.
*****
There once was a country called Zie
There once was a country called Zie,
That knew only how to lie,
It lied all the way,
To the end of its days,
Now it’s gone to heaven on high.
*****
False Flag
There was a nation, so bad,
That thought it was superior; a cad
Until it was challenged one day,
By a country far away,
And it made them ever so MAD.
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There is a country called GRUNGE
There is a country called GRUNGE,
That thinks it is so much fun,
Interfering with the lives,
Of people both far and wide,
Grunge; enjoying perverse fun.
A Mathematical Theory
Mathematics:
This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint..it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in
life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula to help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.Then:H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98%andK-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5
= 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20
= 103%AND, look how far ass kissing gets you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+
14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty,
that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you 100%, it’s the Bullshit andAss Kissing that will put you over the top.Now you know why, & how our political leaders give the general public more than 100% ….!
Men Sensitivity
Men Sensitivity
An elderly couple, who had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones.
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy..One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you.The husband text back to her:
“I’m on the toilet. Please advise.”
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Originally Intended for publication on April 1st.
I just I heard that the earth is flat,
That all these years it’s been like a mat,
That you hardly see or notice there,
Until you are told the earth is square.
If it is square then I am sure,
What I’ve been told is oh so flawed.
But perhaps it’s all a dream of sorts,
And when I awake all will be as before.
And if it’s not then I must learn,
Not to walk too far, lest I fall off the edge.
***************************
The Crazymad Writer – in red
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FREE CHEESE for the People
CHEESE
I am your leader, he said, snarling at us,
The prime minister of Ireland, now what’s all the fuss,
I gave you some cheese – and a whole lot at that,
You should be grateful, you scurrilous brats!
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We don’t want your cheese, we answered – and quick,
We want money in our pockets, not cheap little tricks,
Give your cheese to the bankers, and try some yourself,
Perhaps it will choke you; then we can govern ourselves.
(You know it makes sense,
And if it doesn’t make sense,
It’s a load of nonsense).
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Cheese, cheese, good for your heart,
The more you eat, the longer you’ll last,
The longer you last, the more taxes you’ll pay,
Eat cheese every day.
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 