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Category Archives: humor

Danny Brown

Danny Browne had many noses,

It’s the truth, so many poses.

He forgot to breathe, both in and out,

Now he’s dead, the silly lout.

 
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Posted by on August 3, 2016 in funny story, humor, humour, poems

 

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Porridge

Porridge, porridge, good for your bones,

Bones, bones, good for your bones.

Eat it up; it’ll do you good,

Do you good, good, good, good.

Look at it now; it’s so fine to eat,

It’s so fine and good, it is a treat.

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Posted by on August 3, 2016 in funny story, humor, humour, poems

 

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A Boy Named Paul

There once was a boy named Paul,

Who wanted to get away from it all,

So he took up sea swimming and set off one evening,

Now he’s nowhere at all,

A shark or something horrible probably ate him.

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Posted by on August 3, 2016 in humor, humour, Limerick

 

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Ermaddogan

Ermaddogan is my pet,

A beastie, that’s him,

Though howling and snarling,

He is always my darling,

My sweetie, my beastie, Ermaddogan.

*****

Please note: any similarity between my pet and Erdogan,

the President of Turkey, is purely coincidental.

mad dog

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2016 in crazy, fantasy, humor, humour, poems, rhyme

 

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Miser Kenny

There was an old man called Kenny,
Who loved his money, his pennies,
He nursed them each day,
What more can I say,
About Kenny, obsessed with his pennies.

Miser Kenny

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2015 in humor, humour, poems

 

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He was mad, I tell you, stark, raving mad!

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A funny thing happened to me the other day… At the time, though, the car, the car-thing with its elusive, concealed driver that was following us, my trusty old beetle and I, along a lonely country road, was anything but funny.

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Posted by on September 21, 2015 in free ebooks, humor, humour

 

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I Have a Little Satnav, by Pam Ayres

I have a little Satnav; it sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver’s friend it tells you where you are.

I have a little Satnav; I’ve had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive
“It’s sixty miles an hour”, it says, “You’re doing sixty five”.

It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake
And tells me that it’s never ever, Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively, Just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear
And taking this into account, It specifies my gear.

I’m sure no other driver, has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car, It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling, each journey’s pretty fraught
So why don’t I exchange it, And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I’m properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off

******************

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Posted by on September 14, 2015 in funny story, humor, humour, poems

 

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