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Category Archives: Stories for children

Humpty Dumpty – My Crazymad Way

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,

Laughed at Dumpty, broken in pain.

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Will you save? Humpty asked in his pain?

My shell it is cracked and also my brain.

If nothing is done by horse or by man.

My time will be gone from nursery rhyme land.

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The king’s horses and also his men,

Felt sorry for laughing at the egg in his pain.

So fetching some glue – and super at that,

 They stuck him together though ever so cracked

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Christmastime is nowhere at all

Christmastime is Nowhere at all

From the story ‘Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World’

smiley at the Crazymad writer's blog

Christmastime is nowhere at all,

It’s nowhere at all, if it’s not in your heart.

If it’s not in your wishes, right there from the start,

Christmastime is nowhere at all.

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Christmastime, a time to be glad,

A time to rejoice in all that you have,

But let us remember this time of good cheer,

Is also a time to erase every fear.

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Christmastime is nowhere at all,

It’s nowhere at all, if it’s not in your heart.

If it’s not in your wishes, right there from the start,

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Christmastime is nowhere at all.

Christmastime, it’s a time to be glad,

It a time to rejoice in all that you have,

But let us remember this time of good cheer,

Is a time to share blessings, this is my prayer.

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To Boldly Go

To Boldly Go

To boldly go where no man has gone,

 Our intrepid explorers fight the Klingons,

 They battles with foes and forces unknown,

 Kirk and his crew are so far from home.

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Warping past Dwarfs as red as can be,

Streaking through space, and all for the free,

The freedom of choice, for you and for me,

Our intrepid explorers go forward boldly.

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Out into the blackness, the fear and the dread,

Kirk and his crew by passion are led,

Explorers by nature, fighters by chance,

Man and machine go boldly ever on.

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It was a voyage of years, a mission of five,

That’s all was intended, I tell you no lie,

More than forty years later they’re still forging on,

Onwards and upwards, to a new dawn.

 

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Skytrain, high train, charging, charging

Skytrain

Skytrain, high train, charging, charging,

Fly train – my train; harken, harken,

To its whistle, blowing, blowing,

Life’s so fast; it’s going, going,

Ebbing from our bodies, groaning,

As Time’s cold scythe cuts through the gloaming

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Listen, listen; I hear it calling, 

Ignore it at your peril – warning!

Before your days are gone and over,

Join me in this bright sky rover 

Across the heavens we’ll travel, listening,

To the sounds of eternity, whispering, 

Within our hearts, our chi resplendent,

At one with god, in peace, never ending.

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I am The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

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I am Man

I am man,

Born of woman; man,

I stand for all that is right,

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I am man,

I fight injustice and bias,

I am man,

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I will NEVER allow Neanderthals to get the upper hand,

For I am man, of woman, with woman, against Neanderthal man.

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Posted by on October 18, 2013 in Stories for children

 

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THE MAD CONVERSATION: An extract from Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World

THE MAD CONVERSATION: An extract from Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World

Flummoxed by the Rabbit’s question, Alice found herself struggling to find a reply. The only one that she was able to come up with, was, “I bet you are mad!”

That all depends,” the Rabbit replied, quite matter-of-factly.

It all depends on what?”

On whether you mean mad or mad.”

That’s silly,” said Alice. “They both mean the very same thing.”

If you were mad number one,” said the White Rabbit, with full conviction of the soundness of his case, “and someone happened to tell you that you were mad number two, you might be very mad indeed, at so fundamental a mistake.”

But I’m not mad!” Alice insisted, becoming ever more frustrated at so silly a conversation.

How do you know that you aren’t mad,” asked the Rabbit, who appeared to be enjoying flummoxing Alice, so “when you can’t tell the difference between mad number one and mad number two, I might ask?”

I just know that I’m not mad!” Alice insisted stamping her foot, displaying her annoyance at what she considered was questionable logic. Then changing the subject, from her possible madness or claimed sanity, Alice informed the Rabbit that another door had appeared and was awaiting his attention.

Turning round, the White Rabbit took hold of the brass handle and attempted to turn it, but despite his best efforts the door remained stubbornly shut.

Might I try?” Alice asked, feeling very un-mad. Standing away from the door, the White Rabbit said nothing, but his pink, beady eyes watched her intently.

The door opened easily for Alice, and feeling vindicated, she proclaimed, “Could a mad person have done that?” Without waiting for a reply, she stepped through the doorway and promptly fell into a gaping hole on the other side.

No, they mightn’t,” said the Rabbit, laughing as she disappeared into the hole. “But would they have fallen down there?” Laughing again, he hopped through doorway and jumped into the hole, following Alice…

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Harry Rotter synopsis

Harry Rotter synopsis.

 Mr. and Mrs. Privet, of number twenty-three Dorsley Drive, were anything but normal. They had been normal only a few weeks earlier, but they were now as crazy as anyone fortunate enough to have been incarcerated in the local loony bin.

On the outside, Mr. Privet, a tall, bald and incredibly thin man, appeared quite normal, but just beneath the surface, barely hidden, he was a seething mass of nervous ticks, idiosyncratic behavior, peptic ulcers and, above all, just plain loonyness.

As well as suffering from the same mad ways as her loopy husband, the extraordinarily fat Mrs. Privet was also suffering from the dreadful infliction of hearing voices in her head. She might hear them at any time of the day or night, and would oftentimes jump up in bed screaming in a most alarming way, giving her husband such a fright he’d begin shaking uncontrollably. It was a most dreadful state of affairs altogether. Despite suffering from these awful conditions, Mr. and Mrs. Privet tried to continue living as normal a life as was possible, but hardly a day went by without one of them experiencing a mad interlude that would make most normal people simply roll over and die.

Before I continue on with my story I must also tell you about their son Box, Box Privet. This child (the veritable apple of their eyes) was, like his father, of a tall and incredibly thin physique. At times this trait would cause him to be the butt of jokes and jibes by his classmates and acquaintances. However, he paid little or no attention, because his mind was always set firmly on the love, the passion of his life – electronics. Upstairs, in his small bedroom, Box would work for hours on end with his soldering iron, long nose pliers and tweezers creating, crafting bringing his new ideas to life. It was a lonely existence, but it suited him fine.

I have already told you how Mr. and Mrs. Privet had been quite normal only a few weeks earlier. In all truthfulness the Privet’s had been one of the happiest families in their entire estate of mock Elizabethan detached houses. But now they were mad, living in fear for their lives, the happy and contented existence they had so enjoyed in tatters, a shambles, and a shadow of what it had once been.

You see, the Privet’s had been hiding a secret, a big secret. And while it had been contained and suppressed, as they felt is should still be, they had been enjoying that happy and contented life, but from the moment, the very instant this secret, this terrible secret had escaped from its place of incarceration, a private boarding school going by the name of Hagswords,  it had come to an abrupt end.

This secret, this big dark secret was in reality a young girl, an orphan, the Privet’s only niece, going by the of Harry Rotter. She had actually been baptized Harriet, but from an early age had insisted that everyone call her Harry.

Let me tell you about Harriet – Harry… She was the boldest, cruelest, nastiest child you could ever be unfortunate enough to meet. To look as her, with her flowing locks of golden hair and a face that appeared so innocent, so angelic, one might easily be fooled into believing that butter could last forever in her mouth without melting. But she wasn’t an angel, no, the unfortunate truth, the terrible truth was she was an out and out scoundrel, a bully who had no respect for anyone but herself. Bullies can and so very often do make the lives of those living around them as miserable as hell – Harry proved to be no exception to this rule.

While Harriet – Harry – had been safely tucked away in her school everything had been just fine, and the Privet’s had been able to forgot about their troublesome niece, but from the moment she broke out, escaped from that high security ‘special’ boarding school, and found her way to the home of her only living relations, the Privets, their lives changed forever.

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Harry Rotter? Are you sure that it’s Rotter?

Harry Rotter? Are you sure that it’s Rotter? That’s a silly old name! Are you absolutely sure that it’s Rotter? You are? Okay, if it is Rotter tell me what he, pardon? It’s a she? Are you sure he – she is a girl? You are? This is getting stranger by the second! What? She’s bad, not good? What’s the point of that if all that she wants to do are dreadful deeds? I’ll have to read it – the story – to understand what she is truly about? Hmm, it can’t be any worse than listening to you. Okay, I’ll read it. Please hand me that book; Harry Rotter.

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where you can purchase my eBooks.

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Skulduggery’s Afoot

Skulduggery’s afoot – can you hear him say,
‘Trouble’s abroad; that means TODAY’.
It’s time to get out there, to face the Faceless Ones,
Skulduggery and friend, his best number one.

Skulduggery might be dead, no more than some bones,
Traipsing through of Dublin, appearing so alone
Until just when think that he has met his match (once again),
Out pops Valkyrie, saving him from an untimely end.

Derek Landy, a cabbage farmer by trade,
Was inspired to create this detective and aid,
While tending his crops in the field one day,
He shouted, ‘Eureka, I have it, I’m made!’

‘I won’t have to tend cabbages, no more,
Working the fields until my back is so sore,
Skulduggery and partner will give me it all,
Money and fame – I will have such a ball.’

So it’s goodbye from him, and adios from me,
He’s off to the bank and I’m off to a field,
Searching for inspiration, for ideas of my own,
Like ‘The Crazy-mad detective and his sidekick called Bones.’Nah, that’s no good, it’s too corny… Now let me see… Ah, I have it, Doctor Bones and his Grievous Travelling Palaces. That certainly has a ring to it. Pardon? Oh, you want to know what a travelling palace actually is, and what it entails. Hah, that’s easy, simply click on the link, below. There are a number of them in my story Alice on Top of the World.

 

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I am a poor writer…

I am a poor writer, this is quite true,
Writing my stories for each one of you,
Tales to intrigue entertain and delight,
And I will do it until the day that I die.

If you were to ask me, why do I bother at all?
Competing against Rowling, Shan and Roald Dahl,
I would answer; I LOVE it, writing my stories each day,
And if I were to suddenly become famous,
I would appreciate the pay!
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where you can purchase my eBooks
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Posted by on October 18, 2013 in Stories for children

 

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