Merry Christmas, everyone, from Santa and me.
These creatures – Christmas Giants – reside quiet and unseen, throughout the entire year, in people’s houses. They rest, slumber peacefully away in their places of concealment, until they are needed, when they are summoned, called by the old man himself, Father Christmas.
Nowadays, Christmas Giants are vital part of the yuletide effort, of getting the presents into children’s Christmas stockings, on Christmas Eve. What these Giants actually do is quite simple; they stretch all the way up the chimney, where Father Christmas is waiting patiently adjacent the chimney pot. Then, after the old man has given it the children’s presents, the Giant returns to ground level and places them in the children’s Christmas stockings, for him.
Yes, I know this has previously been done by Father Christmas. It’s just that, with modern building practices adopting ever thinner chimney flue designs, the old, and rather fat man, simply cannot get down them anymore. You see, the Giants, as well as being ever so tall, are incredibly thin. Passing up and down a chimney each Christmas Eve is child’s play for them. It’s a delightful task they volunteered for, when the old man began to get into difficulties with this new style of chimney design.
A note: If you happened to look for one of these creatures in your house, at a time other than Christmas, you might notice a large foot poking out from under your bed, or a long and incredibly thin finger half-hidden to the rear of a cupboard. Don’t be worried, it will not wake up, though, not until not until next Christmas Eve, that is.
Father Christmas where have you gone?
Will I never be able to tell my son
Of times gone by, of simpler days
When you reigned supreme each Christmas day?
Santa came, he took your place
He does your job with greater haste
In colours chosen by market men
To sell more drinks in glass and cans
The buzzwords now are buy! buy! buy!
Spend your money; don’t wonder why
Santa Claus, in red and white
Drinks coca cola; he MUST BE right.