Read it online -for free.
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Click HERE to visit my online book shop,
where you can purchase my eBooks
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I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
Tag Archives: download
I am NOT the new Roald Dahl, NO, NO!
I am NOT the new Roald Dahl, NO, NO!
I am me, I, my very self; The Crazymad Writer of children’s stories – ARRRGH.
Although my works are primarily aimed at children, adults also enjoy reading them. My works include such notables as:
Tales of the Extraordinary,
The Witches,
Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World,
HARRY ROTTER (she has lost her Magical Marbles),
Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad Mr Viscous,
Slug Talk,
The Tales of Beetle About,
Tales of Childhood, volumes 1 and 2,
Horrible Horace,
Stories for Boys,
The Three Faerie Sisters,
Christmas: A Carol Betwixt,
The Fog,
Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff,
Stewed Rhymes,
A Beer in a Burger Bar,
And a whole lot MORE.
Click HERE to visit my online book shop,
where you can purchase my eBooks
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I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
Alice in Wonderland Rhymes
A NEW Alice in Wonderland story
Click HERE to purchase and download this exciting new eBook
Dunking the Mouse
Dunking the Mouse, Oh, Dunking the Mouse,
What can be better than dunking the Mouse?
Be it with a fine friend like the Rabbit, so stout,
Or on my old lonesome, I love dunking the Mouse.
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I open the pot and stick his head in,
And before he’s awoken he’s half the way in.
With Rabbit a-helping, we finish the job,
Then put the lid on, though Mouse is beginning to sob.
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‘Oh please let me out’, he implore us, so meek,
But why should we do that when the tea tastes so sweet?
‘Oh give me a cup of that heavenly brew’,
Says Rabbit to me, ‘and a jam tart for you’.
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I pour out two cups and we sit down anew,
With the tea and the tarts – and with Mouse in the brew,
Until Alice strolls by, and unsettles our ruse,
Saving Mouse from his fate and us from the noose.
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The Queen of Hearts
The Queen of Hearts,
She made some tarts,
All on a summer’s day.
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The Knave of Hearts;
Did he steal those tarts?
Did he steal them right away?
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The King of Hearts,
Called for the tarts,
And the knave, to beat, for sure.
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But the Knave of Hearts,
Got off scot free,
With Alice, amidst furor.
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Off with her head!
Off with her head, I said, OFF, OFF, OFF!
Off with her head; put it on a block!
Swing your axe high executioner; find the true mark!
I said off with her head, now; make a start!
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Why do you want to punish her, so?
Said the King for Alice, standing below.
She is just a child; a mere wisp of a girl,
Searching for Rabbit’s house at the Top of the World.
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For a moment the Queen faltered, mulling her plan,
Then she roared, Are you mouse or a man?
Alice’s head it must fall or yours will be next!
Off with her head and don’t make a mess!
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Standing, there, listening, Alice thought she was done,
Waiting for the chopper with its final anon.
Then down from the sky an old man appeared,
Then he whisked her away; tucked under his beard!
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She won’t be chopping your head, he said with a smile,
Father Christmas, to the poor, startled child.
Let us up and away and follow our snouts,
To the Top of the World and the Rabbit’s fine house.
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Hissing her annoyance, the Queen voiced her thoughts,
Behead everyone, and then she went for a walk.
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I am a Cat
I am a Cat, it said smiling at her,
A Cheshire Cat; you can tell by my fur,
My paws and whiskers are also a hint,
But the smile on my face is most significant.
…………………………………………
I can see by your fur, said Alice – I do,
And also your paws and whiskers; it’s true,
But that smile on your face has me all in a tizz,
Coming and going, in such a whiz.
………………………………………
Still smiling at Alice, the Cat dryly replied,
You’d never believe me; you’d think I had lied,
If the smile on my face was gone; it’s a fact,
No one would listen or look at this Cat.
………………………………………….
Without offering Alice a chance to reply,
The Cat went on with his horrible lie,
Creeping closer and closer, until ever so near,
When he pounced, lashed out, cutting her ear.
…………………………………………..
Feeling the hurt and the blood running down,
Alice said, I was such a clown,
To have ever believed a Cat with a grin,
Take that, and that, you horrible thing!
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Stories; eBooks for children and adults that you can download today
Christmas Countdown
Christmas Countdown
It will soon be Christmas
Stories for children and young at heart adults
YIPPEE!
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A Christmas Alice in Wonderland Story
A Christmas Alice in Wonderland Story
First, she discovered Wonderland…
Then she slipped through that fascinating Looking Glass…
Now, she’s on Top of the World…
THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF A GIRL NAMED ALICE
Click HERE to purchase and download this eBook for your PC, tablet, Kindle or other device
Ever since I began writing, I wanted to create something special, a story to capture the hearts, minds and, above all, imagination of you, the readers, I hope that, in penning this story, about the continuing adventures of a girl named Alice, I might, just might have achieved this ambition.
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AN EXCERPT
It was many years later when Alice had her next adventure, and whilst she was quite surprised to be having one at all, after the passing of so many years, she was even more surprised to see that she was a child again, no older than when she had first entered Wonderland and slipped through that fascinating Looking Glass.
“How curious,” she whispered, trying to recall the child she had once been.
“You took your time getting here,” said the White Rabbit who suddenly appeared in front of her.
“I beg your pardon?” Alice replied, remembering how rude he could be, if he felt so inclined.
“I said you took your time getting here. You should have been here fourteen years ago,” the Rabbit huffed indignantly as he began hopping quickly away from Alice.
“But,” Alice spluttered, running after him, “I have no idea how I arrived, let alone why I am so late!”
“We accept no ifs or buts, here – you should know that by now,” said the Rabbit, as he opened a door which had appeared as suddenly as he. Stepping through, he said, “Hurry up, please don’t dawdle.”
As she followed him through the doorway, trying her to keep up with the fast-hopping Rabbit, Alice surmised that he must have got out his bed on the wrong side, this morning, to be so grumpy on so wonderful a day. And it really was a wonderful day, with a warm sun shining brightly upon them.
‘I wonder where I might possibly be?’ thought Alice, as she admired the pink forget-me-nots skirting a winding path before her. “Am I in Wonderland?” she asked, just as another door, the same as the first one, appeared.
Giving Alice a most peculiar look, the Rabbit said, “Of course we are not in Wonderland.” Opening the door, he told her, “We are on the top of the world.” Having said that, he scurried off, hopping down another winding path, also bordered by pink forget-me-nots.
“The top of the world?” Alice cried out, quite in surprise. “Why, that’s impossible!”
The Rabbit stopped hopping. Turning around, facing Alice, he said, “Then how can you be here, if it’s impossible?”
Flummoxed by the Rabbit’s question, Alice found herself struggling to find a reply. The only thing she was able to come up with was, “I bet you are mad!”
“That all depends,” the Rabbit replied quite matter-of-factly.
“It all depends on what?”
“On whether you mean mad or mad.”
“That’s silly,” said Alice. “They both mean the very same thing.”
“If you were mad number one,” said the White Rabbit, with full conviction of the soundness of his case, “and someone happened to tell you that you were mad number two, you might be very mad indeed, at so fundamental a mistake.”
“But I’m not mad!” Alice insisted, becoming ever more frustrated at so silly a conversation.
“How do you know that you aren’t mad,” asked the Rabbit, who appeared to be enjoying flummoxing Alice, so “when you can’t tell the difference between mad number one and mad number two, I might ask?”
“I just know that I’m not mad!” Alice insisted, stamping her foot, displaying her annoyance at what she considered was questionable logic. Changing the subject, from her possible madness or claimed sanity, Alice informed the Rabbit that another door had appeared and was awaiting his attention.
Turning round, the White Rabbit took hold of the handle and tried to open the door, but it remained stubbornly shut.
“Might I try?” Alice asked, feeling very un-mad. Standing away from the door, the White Rabbit said nothing, but his pink, beady eyes watched her intently.
The door opened easily for Alice. Feeling vindicated, she said, “Could a mad person have done that?” Without waiting for a reply, she stepped through the doorway and fell into a gaping hole on the far side.
“No, they mightn’t,” said the Rabbit, laughing as she disappeared into the hole. “But would they have fallen down there?” Laughing again, he hopped through doorway and into the hole, following Alice…
CONTD
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Merry Princessmas
Merry Christmas
Or should that be Merry Princessmas?
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Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from the Crazymad Writer
.
Harry Rotter
Chapter One
No, Our Best China’s in There!
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The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 