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The Crazymad Writer (Returns!)

The Crazymad Writer (Returns!)

The Crazymad Writer (Returns!)

The Crazymad Writer was back once more,
With feathers for socks and jam on the floor.
He laughed at the kettle, then swallowed a map,
Declared it a Tuesday, and took a long nap.

His pencil was twitching, alive with glee,
It scribbled rude limericks all over his knee.
The wallpaper sighed, the curtains took flight,
And the teapot exploded in sheer delight.

He wrote with a sandwich, edited with jam,
Argued with Oxford about the word “blam!”
His footnotes were riddles, his index a maze,
His glossary danced for several days.

“I’m not mad,” he said with a wink and a shrug,
While whispering secrets into a plug.
“I simply see things the others don’t see—
Like giraffes in the sugar and moons in my tea!”

His desk had grown legs and strolled round the room,
His clock ticked in polka and smelled of perfume.
The typewriter giggled, the ink bottle sneezed,
While he wrestled a comma and shouted, “I’m pleased!”

So next time your spoon tries to quote Baudelaire,
Or your curtains start humming a waltz in the air,
Don’t panic or scream—don’t shout or take flight—
You’ve simply been blessed by the Crazymad Writer’s delight.

 
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Posted by on July 15, 2025 in crazy, crazymad writer

 

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A Magical Adventure Awaits: Discover the Treasure Chest

A Magical Adventure Awaits: Discover the Treasure Chest

The Treasure Chest

He knelt upon the golden sand,

A map still clutched within his hand,

The chest before him, old and wide,

With secrets locked away inside.

Its hinges creaked a tale of yore,

Of pirates, dreams, and distant shore,

He lifted slow the heavy lid—

And gasped at what the shadows hid.

A glow poured out like morning sun,

As if the stars had come undone,

And in the light, a swirling stream

Of all the wonders he could dream.

A compass spun with magic grace,

A feather from a phoenix race,

A marble made of lunar glass,

A bell from lands where wishes pass.

His eyes grew wide, his heart took flight—

The world had changed in just one night.

Not for the gold, nor sparkling prize,

But for the dreams that filled his eyes.

So if you find a chest one day,

While wandering down a secret way,

Remember this: the best you’ll see

Is what it helps your soul to be.

Horrible Horace and the treasure Chest
 

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Bolf was sick…

Bolf was sick…

Troll Bolf lay heavy upon his stone slab bed, a slab he had hewn from the mountainside himself in a single afternoon. Now, the effort to simply roll over made his cavernous chest ache and his rocky limbs feel as brittle as dried twigs. His strength, once the pride of the Whispering Peaks, was a grim, forgotten tale. A dreadful misfortune had shadowed his cave, and the great, simple troll was utterly baffled.

He wasn’t wounded. No knight had been foolish enough to challenge him in a decade. He hadn’t wrestled a rockslide or angered a river spirit. Yet, a weakness he’d never known had seeped into his very bones. The healer-moss he chewed on tasted like dust, and the cool cavern air felt thick and suffocating.

A colossal sneeze, a true earth-shaker, ripped through him. It sent pebbles skittering across the floor and disturbed the ancient dust motes dancing in the single shaft of light from his cave’s entrance. With a shuddering gasp, Bolf grabbed a burdock leaf the size of a shield and blew his nose. The sound was like a mournful foghorn. He wiped his tired, bloodshot eyes with the back of a hand that could once pulverize granite, a hand that now trembled with a quiet, sad clasp.

The diagnosis, whispered by a wise old badger who dabbled in forest ailments, was as perplexing as it was dire. Bird flu.

Bird flu! Bolf had grumbled, his voice a low rumble. Bolf has no wings. Bolf does not soar. Bolf keeps his feet on the good, solid ground.

But the badger had just twitched his whiskers knowingly and scurried away, leaving Bolf to his misery and the looming mystery. How could it be?

In the feverish haze, as shadows of sickness flickered and danced on the damp stone walls, his thoughts drifted back. Back a week, to the great storm that had lashed the mountains. He had been checking his snares when he heard it—a pathetic, high-pitched peeping from the base of a giant pine. There, half-drowned and trembling in a puddle, was a tiny fledgling, a scrap of brown feather and fear, fallen from its nest.

Ordinarily, Bolf might have ignored it. Trolls were not known for their tenderness. But something in the creature’s desperate fight for life stirred a forgotten softness in his stony heart. With a gentleness that defied his immense size, he had scooped the little bird into his palm. It was so light, it felt like nothing at all. He had taken it back to his cave, tucking it into an old, moss-lined helmet near the warmth of his fire pit.

For three days, he had been its clumsy, devoted guardian. He mashed wild berries with his thumb for it to eat and let it sip water from the cup of his hand. He remembered the little bird shivering, letting out tiny, wet sneezes that misted his calloused skin. He had watched, filled with a strange, gruff pride, as its strength returned. One morning, it had hopped onto his finger, chirped a song that was surprisingly loud for its size, and then, with a brave flutter, had flown out of the cave and into the morning sun.

Bolf’s foggy mind cleared for a moment with a jolt of horrid understanding. The fledgling. The sneezes. The sickness hadn’t come from the sky; it had come from an act of kindness.

A wave of despair washed over him, colder than any mountain stream. His good deed had brought this peril upon him. As his hopes flickered dim, he felt a tear, hot and gritty, trace a path through the grime on his cheek. He refused to yield, but the fight felt impossibly lonely.

Just then, a faint sound reached his ears. Chirp-chirp-tweet!

A tiny shadow darted through the sunbeam at the cave’s entrance. It was the fledgling, no longer a shivering scrap but a confident young robin. It landed without fear on the edge of Bolf’s stone bed. In its beak, it held a single, deep purple elderberry, glistening and perfect.

The bird hopped closer, nudging the berry against Bolf’s rough chin. It looked at him with its bright, black eyes, a look of pure, uncomplicated trust. It was a gift. A thank you. A reminder of the life he had saved.

In that small gesture, something shifted inside the mighty troll. The courage and love that had prompted him to save the bird were now being returned to him. He was not alone in his fight. Though peril threatened, the spirit of that small act of kindness refused to be concealed.

With a monumental effort, Bolf pushed himself up on one elbow. He opened his mouth, and the robin gently dropped the berry inside. It was just one berry, not nearly enough to cure him, but it tasted of hope. It was a promise.

So heal, brave Troll Bolf. Rise from despair. Watched over by his tiny, winged friend, he would drink the water and chew the moss, letting health and joy chase away the dark glare. For he had learned a profound truth in his sickness: even for a great troll of stone and earth, the spirit may soar, and brighter tomorrows, filled with the most unlikely of friendships, were waiting to restore.

The single berry was a spark in the vast, cold emptiness of his sickness. It was not a cure, but it was a reason. The robin, having delivered its precious cargo, fluffed its chest feathers and let out a trill of encouraging chirps before darting back out of the cave. Bolf watched it go, a tiny brown dart against the brilliant blue sky. He lay back on the slab, the singular sweetness of the elderberry still on his tongue, a taste so profoundly different from the dusty moss and stale air that had been his world.

A new thought, slow and heavy as a glacier, began to move through his mind. Kindness brought the sickness. Kindness can bring the cure.

The little robin, who Bolf decided to call Pip, seemed to have the very same thought. Pip did not abandon his giant friend. He became a tiny, feathered general marshalling an army of the woods. The story of the sick troll and the grateful bird spread on the forest wind, whispered from branch to branch, chittered from den to den. At first, the other creatures were hesitant. Bolf was a force of nature, a landmark to be avoided. His sickness was his own affair.

But Pip was persistent. He chirped the story to the squirrels, who remembered Bolf once dislodging a whole branch of ripe acorns for them during a lean autumn, an act they’d mistaken for clumsy destruction. He sang it to the deer, who recalled the troll diverting a rockslide that would have destroyed their favourite grazing meadow. He even found the wise old badger again, not to scold him, but to show him the single elderberry stalk, a symbol of a debt being repaid.

The badger, shamed by the tiny bird’s courage, was the first to act. He knew of a hidden grove on the sun-drenched southern slope where elderberries grew thick and heavy. He organised the squirrels, their nimble paws perfect for harvesting. Soon, a procession began. A constant stream of small creatures, brave in their shared purpose, scurried to the mouth of Bolf’s cave. They brought elderberries, dropping them one by one into the same moss-lined helmet that had once cradled Pip. They brought tangy sorrel leaves to soothe his throat and fat, juicy grubs, which Bolf politely declined but appreciated the gesture.

Bolf watched the proceedings in a feverish daze. A family of field mice dragged a single, glistening drop of morning dew on a broad leaf, a minuscule offering that required their entire family’s strength. He saw them, and something inside his rocky chest, something harder than bone, began to soften. He had lived his long life in solitude, priding himself on his independence. He had seen the forest animals as incidental, background noise to his immense existence. Now, they were his lifeline.

Pip was his constant companion, perching on the craggy landscape of Bolf’s brow, cleaning his beak on a stony earlobe. He would chirp updates from the forest and peck gently at Bolf’s lips to remind him to drink from the pool of water gathering in a hollow of his stone bed, a pool slowly being filled by the leaf-cup brigade.

With each berry consumed, with each sip of water, Bolf felt the fever loosen its grip. The aches in his cavernous chest became less pronounced. The weakness in his limbs was replaced by a slow, returning tide of power. One morning, he sat up without the world spinning. He took a deep breath, and for the first time in weeks, the air tasted clean and sweet.

He looked at the helmet, now overflowing with berries, roots, and leaves—a tribute from a world he had never truly known. He looked at Pip, who was preening on his shoulder, a loyal speck of life.

His strength returned, but it was different now. It was not the lonely, brute force of a mountain but the deep, rooted strength of a forest, interconnected and alive. When he finally stood and walked to the mouth of his cave, the sunlight no longer felt like an intrusion but a welcome. The forest did not fall silent as he emerged. Instead, a chorus of chirps, chitters, and rustles seemed to greet him, a quiet acknowledgement of their shared victory.

Bolf, the great troll of the Whispering Peaks, was no longer just a fearsome resident. He was a neighbour. And he had learned that true strength wasn’t just in hewing stone from a mountainside; it was in the gentle scoop of a hand, the offering of a single berry, and the quiet, unshakeable loyalty of the very smallest of friends.

 

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He caught bird flu though he don’t even fly…

He caught bird flu though he don’t even fly…

Troll Bolf lies heavy, feeling so frail,
His strength now wanes, a silent, grim tale.
A dreadful misfortune has darkened his day,
And mystery looms—what could it be, pray?

He caught bird flu, though no wings to soar,
A puzzling illness he’s never known before.
He blows his nose with a shuddering gasp,
Wipes his tired eyes in a quiet, sad clasp.

In shadows of sickness, hopes flicker dim,
Yet strength resides deep within his grim,
Though peril may threaten, he refuses to yield,
For courage and love refuse to be concealed.

So heal, brave Troll Bolf, rise from despair,
Let health and joy chase away the dark glare—
For even in sickness, the spirit may soar,
And brighter tomorrows await to restore.

Free eBooks for everyone, for sure, at… free eBooks for everyone

Ireland is calling…

 

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My FREE eBooks shop online

My FREE eBooks shop online

Click on the link and download as many free books as you want. Enjoy.

https://payhip.com/ebooksforchildren

eBooks for free

 
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Posted by on June 26, 2025 in free, free ebooks

 

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The Whimsical World of Wonderland

Once upon a time, in the whimsical world of Wonderland, Christmas had arrived! And who better to join in the festive fun than our beloved adventurer, Alice?
With her curiosity piqued and her sense of wonder ignited, Alice embarked on a magical holiday journey like no other. She wandered through snow-covered forests with talking flowers wearing Santa hats, stumbled upon tea parties featuring gingerbread cookies that never crumbled, and even found herself conversing with a rather sassy snowman who refused to let her go until she answered his riddles.
As she hopped from one peculiar Christmas scene to another, Alice couldn’t help but marvel at the delightful absurdity that surrounded her. The Cheshire Cat transformed into a mischievous reindeer with disappearing antlers, while the Queen of Hearts insisted on decorating all of Wonderland’s roses with candy cane stripes.
Amidst all this holiday chaos, Alice discovered that the true spirit of Christmas was not just about presents and decorations – it was about joy, companionship, and embracing the extraordinary in every moment. She joined in a grand feast where Mad Hatter served an endless supply of mince pies and caterpillars twirled gracefully on ice skates.
And so it was that Alice’s adventure in Wonderland at Christmas became legend – an enchanting tale filled with merriment and wonder. Because sometimes all you need is a little madness to make your holidays truly extraordinary!
Remember folks: if your Christmas feels too ordinary this year, just take some inspiration from Alice and dive down the rabbit hole into your own magical wonderland!
 

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Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole

[Stanza 1]

Down the rabbit hole she fell,

Alice, with her curious spell,

A whimsical adventure awaits,

In Wonderland, where time abates.

[Stanza 2]

She meets a grinning Cheshire Cat,

Who loves to tease and play with that,

A mad tea party, so absurd,

With the Hatter and Hare, quite absurd!

[Stanza 3]

The Queen of Hearts, so regal and loud,

With flamingos as croquet mallets, how proud!

Off with their heads, she’d shout with glee,

But Alice navigates through cleverly.

[Stanza 4]

Shrinking and growing, oh what a sight,

In this topsy-turvy world, day and night,

With the White Rabbit’s watch in hand,

Alice explores this enchanting Wonderland.

[Stanza 5]

A journey of wonder, strange delight,

With logic defied at every sight,

Alice dances through this dreamy land,

With her imagination forever grand!

 

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Alice in Wonderland Christmas Adventure

Alice in Wonderland Christmas Adventure

Once upon a time, in the whimsical world of Wonderland, Alice found herself embarking on a very curious Christmas adventure.

Decked out in her festive attire, complete with a crown made of mistletoe, Alice stumbled upon the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party, which had transformed into the Merriest Hatter’s Christmas Extravaganza. The Mad Hatter and his friends were sipping tea from ornate cups adorned with twinkling lights, and happily munching on gingerbread rabbits.

Alice couldn’t resist joining in on the merriment and decided to stay awhile. She danced with the Cheshire Cat to jingling tunes played by a band of musical playing cards. The White Rabbit even taught her some new ‘hoppy’ dance moves.

As the day turned into night and snowflakes began to fall gently from the sky, Alice stumbled upon the Queen of Hearts decorating her royal Rose Garden. With a mischievous grin, she ordered Alice to help place candy canes on every stem – oh my! It was quite a sight!

Finally, as Christmas Eve approached, the Caterpillar transformed into Santa Claus – complete with his rather unusual reindeer consisting of butterflies and caterpillars. He handed out presents to all those in attendance at Wonderland’s Christmas extravaganza.

Alice was overwhelmed by all this festive frenzy but couldn’t help but be filled with joy as she realized that Wonderland truly knows how to celebrate Christmas like no other place in the world.

And so, amidst laughter and wonderment galore, Alice bid farewell to her newfound friends promising that she would return next year for another extraordinary Christmas adventure in Wonderland – where anything is possible!

So this holiday season when you think about wonderland adventures or sing carols by candlelight think back to Alice’s enchanting journey through a whimsical Christmas season that will warm any heart this precious holiday season!

****************************************************************************

 

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Free eBooks during lock-down

Free eBooks during lock-down

Now that you have nothing to do, being in lock-down, you can read one or more of my free eBooks. ENJOY.

https://play.google.com/store/books/author?id=Gerrard+Wilson

smiling horse

there once was a man with a horse

 
 

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Free eBooks – really and truly

Free eBooks for sure

https://youtu.be/RpcApV7krHA

It’s a Near Year with even MORE opportunities to download eBooks for free, a gift from me to you. See ya.
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Alice in Wonderland Christmas

Christmas: A Carol Betwixt

Christmas: A Carol Betwixt,

The Fog

Ali-bonkers

The Witches

HARRY, oh she is a Rotter

Mad Mr Viscous

Beetle About

Horrible Horace

The Three Faerie Sisters

Bertie the Beetle

The Circus of Grotesques

Cracks in the Pavement

Danger is my Middle Name

The School Fete

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the E.U. But Were Afraid to Ask

Hobnail Boots

I Fell Down a Waterfall

Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff

Skewed Rhymes

A Beer in a Burger Bar

And a whole lot MORE!!!

I am The Crazymad Writer of children’s stories.

Click HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can download my eBooks for FREE

 
 

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