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Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer

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About The Crazymad Writer

FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, that's what I say, FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, courtesy of ME, The Crazymad Writer. Stories for children and young at heart adults. And remember, my eBooks are FREE FREE FREE!

Don’t call me that name, the new Roald Dahl!

The Crazymad Writer writes again.

Don’t call me that name, the new Roald Dahl,

I am not that man, either new or old,

I am a writer, as mad as can be,

The Crazymad Writer; it’s the truth – YIPPEE.

Little green Man

 

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The Amulet of Oxmosis

99 cent ebooks

The Amulet of Oxmosis

Whilst out on a drive in my beetle, one day,
She put-putted along quite happily away,
Down streets so crowded with people, that’s right,
I was slap-bang in the centre of London, so bright.
*
As I drove my love bug through old London town,
Watching the people all milling around,
Something caught my attention within this mad rush,
An item, in the gutter, all covered in dust.
*
Applying the brakes, I screeched to a halt,
Then opened my door despite the retort,
From drivers not happy all with my tack,
You’re blocking our way, they shouted, quite hacked.
*
I won’t be a tick, I said smiling at them,
As leaning down low, I inspected this thing,
That although almost totally covered in dust,
Glistened so brightly, like gold; it’s a fact.
*
Wiping it clean, the gold sparkled, and how!
It’s an amulet and chain, I spluttered out loud,
Then apologising again, for the jam I had caused,
I returned to my bug amidst facetious applause.
*
Slamming into gear, I tore down that street,
Away from old London, and all of those feet,
Where people could see me, and what I had found,
An amulet – my amulet; I left London town.
*
Far out in the sticks, I slowed to a halt,
Away from all eyes, or so I had thought,
Inspecting my prize, my amulet, so dazzling,
With diamonds and rubies and garnets, enticing.
*
It’s mine, all mine, I cried out, with joy.
I’ll be rich, I’ll sell it – I’ll sell it today,
Then a hand dove through the window, into my car,
And took it, it took it, my amulet so rare.
*
What are you doing? I gasped, trying to see,
Who was taking, stealing the amulet from me,
Then I saw him, a man, bald-headed and robed,
With eyes so black, as black as coal.
*
I am Miafra, he said, in a slow, haughty tone,
With this power, of Oxmosis, I will crush all my foes.
Wot, Nott and Kakuri will cease to be,
They will crumble and die, in ignominious defeat.
*
The Amulet of Oxmosis, is that what it is?
That’s what I asked him, my brain in a tizz,
But Miafra, already chanting his spell,
Made ready to dispatch me downwards to Hell.
*
Wait, WAIT! I pleaded, stalling for time,
I have some information, of the magical kind,
With that his ears perked, and he listened for more,
But all that I did was slam shut the door.
*
Turning the key, the engine burst into life,
Put-putting away; it didn’t think twice,
With pedal to the metal, I swiftly sped off,
Forgetting all about the magical amulet.
*
Yes, yes, I know, Miafra still had it, clear,
As he hastened away to Onisha, I fear.
To crush his opponents, Wot, Nott and Kakuri,
But that was their problem, for I had to hurry.
*
If you are thinking of me as cold and aloof,
Leaving folks to their fate, not giving a hoot,
Then open that story at chapter, first one,
To see what will happen, and what can be done…
****************************

Stories for children and young at heart adults

I am The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH

*

99 cent eBooks you can download today.

99 cent eBooks

 
 

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Skytrain

99 cent ebooks for children and young at heart adults

Skytrain: Eternity Calling

Skytrain, high train, charging, charging,

Fly train – my train; harken, harken,

To its whistle, blowing, blowing,

Life’s so fast; it’s going, going,

Ebbing from our bodies, groaning,

As Time’s cold scythe cuts through the gloaming

*

Listen, listen – I hear it calling,

Ignore it at your peril – warning!

Before your days are gone and over,

Join me in this bright sky rover

And across the heavens we’ll travel, listening,

To the sounds of eternity whispering,

Within our hearts, our chi resplendent,

At one with god; in peace never ending. Amen.

*****************

Stories for children and young at hear adults

by ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH

*

99 cent eBooks you can download today.

 

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The third world war is coming your way

atomic explosion

The third world war is coming your way,

The third world war, that’s what I say,

Amidst weeping and wailing and grinding of teeth,

The third world war put us all beneath,

The ground radiated, burned for sure,

Killed, destroyed forevermore.

 
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Posted by on July 30, 2014 in news

 

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False Flag

False Flag

There was a nation, so bad,

That thought it was superior; a cad

Until it was challenged one day,

By a country far away,

And it made them ever so MAD.

******************

 
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Posted by on July 29, 2014 in humor, humour, poems

 

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There is a country called GRUNGE

The New World Order

There is a country called GRUNGE,

That thinks it is so much fun,

Interfering with the lives,

Of people both far and wide,

Grunge; enjoying perverse fun.

 

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A New Alice in Wonderland story – and here is the video to prove it!

A New Alice in Wonderland story – and here is the video to prove it!

Download this eBook for FREE at Amazon.com

Click here

 

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The BFG at Vimeo.com

I came across this little BFG video at Vimeo.com and thought you would enjoy seeing it.

 
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Posted by on July 28, 2014 in Roald Dahl, The BFG

 

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I am not The New Roald Dahl…

99 cent eBooks for children and young at heart adults. http://thecrazymadwriter.tk

The Crazymad Writer writes again.

 

 

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Old Butch, The Prize Rooster

Old Butch, The Prize Rooster


Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young’ pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Fred’s favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Fred’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most  coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.
Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells.
 
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Posted by on July 22, 2014 in funny story

 

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