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Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer

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About The Crazymad Writer

FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, that's what I say, FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, courtesy of ME, The Crazymad Writer. Stories for children and young at heart adults. And remember, my eBooks are FREE FREE FREE!

To Boldly Go

Star Trek

To Boldly Go

To boldly go where no man has gone,

 Our intrepid explorers fight the Klingons,

 They battles with foes and forces unknown,

 Kirk and his crew are so far from home.

 **********

Warping past Dwarfs as red as can be,

Streaking through space, and all for the free,

The freedom of choice, for you and for me,

Our intrepid explorers go forward boldly.

 **********

Out into the blackness, the fear and the dread,

Kirk and his crew by passion are led,

Explorers by nature, fighters by chance,

Man and machine go boldly ever on.

 **********

It was a voyage of years, a mission of five,

That’s all was intended, I tell you no lie,

More than forty years later they’re still forging on,

Onwards and upwards, to a new dawn.

*******************

Stories for children and young at heart adults,

courtesy of The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH!

The Crazymad Writer writes again.

****************************

Little green Man

Aliens landed in Ballykillduff

 
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Posted by on July 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

♪♫ A Bonkers as Conkers ♪♫

conkers

♪♫ A Bonkers as Conkers ♪♫

As bonkers as conkers, that’s how it goes,

As bonkers as conkers, as plain as you nose,

Crazymad fun tines are coming your way,

As bonkers as conkers – hurray!

The Crazymad Writer writes again.

****************

 
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Posted by on July 14, 2014 in poems, Song

 

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A Mathematical Theory

Mathematics:

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint..it goes like this:


What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?


We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in
life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula to help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5
= 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20
= 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing gets you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+
14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty,
that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you 100%, it’s the Bullshit andAss Kissing that will put you over the top.

Now you know why, & how our political leaders give the general public more than 100% ….!

 
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Posted by on July 12, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour

 

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Ha, Ha, it’s Friday

Ha, Ha, it’s Friday

Roger left for work on Friday morning.  Friday was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay packet.

Finally, Roger appeared at home on Sunday night, and obviously he was confronted by his angry wife, Martha who castigated Roger for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.  Finally, Martha stopped the nagging and said to Roger, ‘How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?’

Roger replied grimly, ‘That would be fine with me.’

Monday went by and he didn’t see his Martha. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

By the Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough so that Roger he could see Martha a little out of the corner of his left eye

 
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Posted by on July 11, 2014 in funny story

 

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Prince Nico – Sweet Mother

 

Prince Nico – Sweet Mother

 
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Posted by on July 11, 2014 in musical

 

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Stories for children and adults

Stories for children and young at heart adults,

courtesy of The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH!

The Crazymad Writer writes again.

 

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Bolf (he’s a very old Troll)

Troll Bolf is coming soon to a Kindle near YOU!

Bolf.

 
 

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Men Sensitivity

Men Sensitivity


An elderly couple, who had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones.
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy..

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.

She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:

“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying,
send
me your tears.  I love you.

The husband text back to her:

“I’m on the toilet.    Please advise.”

**************
 
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Posted by on July 9, 2014 in humor, humour

 

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Lavender Blue, Dilly, Dilly

lavender

Lavender Blue, Dilly, Dilly

Lavender’s blue, dilly, dilly,
Lavender’s green,
When I am rich, dilly, dilly,
You’ll eat ice-cream.
*
Roses are red, dilly, dilly,
Violets are blue,
Because you love garlic, dilly, dilly,
I’ll eat some too.
*
Let the birds sing, dilly, dilly,
And the lambs frolic,
We’ll be happy, dilly, dilly,
Eating ice-cream garlic.

 
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Posted by on July 8, 2014 in nursery rhymes

 

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Alice in Wonderland Syndrome – or something MUCH MORE?

My Crazy Life: Last Night…

I feel that I need to make an introduction to the following two poems, to try and explain to the reader why I recorded in rhyme these things, these two separate things that I feel are somehow connected. I saw each one again and again, over a period of time, when I was no more than five or six years of age. The first one was so terrifying it almost scared me to death. The second, by comparison, was so serene, so blissful, I could have watched it forever. It was only yeas later, when, as an adult, that I dared tell anyone about them, that I dared say I had seen the devil and also an angel.

Last Night (part one)

I heard a sound by my bedside last night,
I heard a lone sound, how I got such a fright.
Something passed by me deep in the night,
I heard a faint sound; did it want my poor life?

I made no sound; I was still, in such fright,
As I lay in bed in the deep of the night,
I could hear it close by, how I longed for the light.
What was this dark thing evading my sight?

An evil black form, a shadowy sight,
Began to rise slowly in front of my eyes.
As I lay in bed on my left-hand side,
This dark, wicked thing slowly rose into sight.

I could not move a muscle; I was frozen in fright,
As the dark frightful vision continued in height,
Till it’s malevolent eyes were almost in sight.
Only then did I close mine, despite the dark night.

I knew it was wicked, the devil personified,
That he wanted my sight, the light of my life.
If I kept my eyes closed, shut tight as the night.
I might just be spared the Grim Reaper’s cold scythe.

Finally, eventually, I opened my eyes,
Had he gone, departed – left my bedside?
But no! He was there I refrain,
Starting beginning to rise up again.

How could I be free from this terrible beast?
That wanted my soul, my heart and my peace,
Perhaps, if this time my eyes remained firmly closed,
It might well just give up and go away home.

So as my eyes closed, again, in such fright,
As I prayed and hoped that I’d last out the night.
I could feel its Dark Presence so close by my brow,
But kept my eyes shut, it wouldn’t bother me now.

The darkness and danger passed from me that night,
Vanishing, returning away from my sight.
I rolled over, so comfy, lulled back into nod,
Till the next time it happens, it’s just me and my God.
A note; this really did happen.

Last Night (part two)

I saw an angel by my bedside last night,
I saw a lone figure, oh what a fine sight.
As it passed close by me, deep in the night,
I saw a lone angel; she lit up my life.

I made not sound; I was still – not in fright,
As I lay in my bed, in the deep of the night,
I watched it close by me; how I longed for its light.
To be a part of this thing, this wondrous sight.

The shining white form, the silvery sight,
Began to glide past me in front of my eyes.
As I lay in bed on my left-hand side,
This holiest of things flew on through the night.

I moved not a muscle; I was locked on the sight,
Of the bright, heavenly vision as it continued in flight,
It’s winged wonderful body passed on to my right.
Only then did I lie back, despite the divine light.

I knew it was good, from heaven come down,
Showing that we have not been left on our own.
And I kept my eyes on it I made not a sound.
As I watched the winged vision go round and around.

Finally, eventually, as I watched with my eyes,
It left, it departed, it was gone – how I cried.
But although it had gone I was now oh so wise,
A part of God’s plan for every adult and child

So remember each night when you set off to nod
That you are never alone, you are then closer to God
Where a heavenly presence watches over your rest
A wonderfully winged angel in a silvery dress

A note: this really did happen.

Well, what do you think, was I experiencing Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

Or was it something else?

 

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