Daily Archives: October 14, 2013

The Witches

The Witches

It began one cold winter’s night, with the appearance of three witches flying around my bed on their broomsticks…

You may well ask, ‘Is this just another one of your fantasy stories, like so many others you have penned?’ My answer, the only thing I can say to you by way of reply, is read this story and find out for yourself…



Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks.


Tags: , , , , , ,

Legs Through the Ceiling

Legs Through The Ceiling

Many years have passed since the big freeze of 1963. It seems a lifetime away; another place, another world. A world so different from one we enjoy nowadays, and take so much for granted. Life is now far easier than it was during the nineteen-sixties.

They called it the swinging sixties; I have no idea how that term came about, and why they came to that conclusion. Despite the many changes that were happening in the world, most people lived the same, miserably boring lives they had up until then experienced.

Despite their boring existence, people truly believed the nineteen sixties was a period of great change; a period like none other before it. That, however, was a fundamental mistake.  There were no computers, then, no internet or satellite TV to inform and entertain. There was TV; grainy, black and white pictures on pitifully small screens. Yes, there were newspapers, but they were just that, newspapers featuring yesterday’s news. It was a dark time, made even darker in so far as people were oblivious to the deficiencies in their lives. Because people believed – really believed – they were living in a time of social and material advancement, a Utopia of sorts, it was impossible for them to counter the fact that they might be wrong.

Now, more than forty years later, I ask you, did anything worthwhile come out of the nineteen sixties? No, I don’t mean mini cars or music or any such other nonsensical items, I mean SOMETHING REALLY WORTHWHILE!

“That got you, didn’t it? There wasn’t anything, was there? All the major, useful, worthwhile changes in our lives have come during the last few years, many years after that supposedly enlightened time.

The nineteen sixties was a superficial, drug-induced time of delusion, not a time of meaningful change. One has only to scratch beneath the surface, to see the same hypocritical, racist, discriminatory and, above all, BORING life that it was.  The minds of the people in power, the people who really mattered, who could have brought about the change that everyone thought was upon them, were closed, blinkered to the possibilities this time offered. Closed minds closed hearts. Despite it being proclaimed – and so loudly – a time of love, it was a time devoid of love. It was a time of hate, a time of war (cold or otherwise), a time when standing up for what you believed in was not an option – unless you wanted to face the unpleasant consequences for your actions.

I can hear you all saying, ‘Oh, but people did stand up to be counted, then, to try and change things.’ But if you think about it, if you really think about it, you will see, realise it was the herd mentality that was driving them on. They only spoke up when surrounded by likeminded people.  Unlike Gandhi, they fell silent whenever they were alone. It was, as I have already told you, a time of delusion, the nineteen sixties…

This brings me neatly on to my story:

Because of the severity of the prolonged cold spell the country had endured, the water pipes in our attic froze solid, so also did the water tank. Determined to sort it out, to rectify the situation, dad borrowed a blowlamp from his brother-in-law, Eric. “I’ll defrost those frozen pipes, so I will!” he told us. Making his way up the stepladder, dad set foot in the attic, hell-bent on warning things up…

In those days, houses had little or no insulation to keep out the cold. No, when winter arrived IT WAS COLD, AND THAT WAS THAT. I can still remember lying in my bed, at night, listening to the panes of glass in our steel framed windows, crack, crack, cracking, because of the frost. God, it was cold!

“Are you alright, dear?” mum said, calling to dad in the attic.

No answer.

“Jim!” she called out again. “I said, are you alright?”

“Hello?” dad answered, in the strange, peculiar way he oftentimes preferred.

“I said, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” he told her. “It’s a bit dark up here, though…”

“Have you got the torch?”

“No, I forgot it.”

“Shall I pass it up to you?”

No; I’ll come down and get it,” he gruffly replied.

Mum said nothing.


“What was that?” mum asked.

No reply.

“Dad, are you alright?”

Incoherent mumbles from above.


Cutting mum off mum, dad began shouting and swearing. “You MADE me do that, so you did!” he growled.

“What did I make you do?” mum replied.

Dad did not answer her.

A few minutes later dad began to move about in the attic once again. Then we heard a louder thud than before, followed by more angry mutterings and cussing from above.

Making our way upstairs, onto the landing, my brother and I whispered to mum, “Did he bang his head?” we asked.

“Shush, he might hear you,” she warned, as she gazed uncertainly into the inky darkness above her.

A blast of icy cold air suddenly shot down from the attic. “Dad, where are you?” she said worriedly.

No answer.

“You boys go play in your room,” she said to us.

“But it’s cold in there,” we answered.

“Go to your room!” she ordered. “I won’t take no for an answer!”

We did. We did as mum told us, we went to our room. We never played, though. With dad lost somewhere above us, play was far from our minds. Suddenly, we heard a crash and a smash. “MUM!” we shrieked.

“What is it?” she asked. “Don’t you know I am busy helping your dad?”






Click HERE to be transferred to my online eBook shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks.


Leave a comment

Posted by on October 14, 2013 in Stories for children


Tags: , ,

Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff

Another great eBook

by The Crazymad Writer

Aliens landed in Ballykilduff,

Aliens landed; that is a fact,

In the dark of the night it happened, it did,

At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.

Chapter One


I was lying in bed, sleeping soundly one night, when something, a noise outside my bedroom widow woke me with a start. Sitting up in bed, I said, “What on earth was that?” However, despite listening intently I heard nothing else. Lying down again, I pulled the bed clothes tightly around me. “Brrr,” I said, shivering from the cold, “it feels more like winter than summer.” Pulling the bed clothes higher around me, I said, “This global warming thing, they keep telling us about, sure is cold.” With those words on my lips I fell fast asleep.

A few minutes the same noise woke me again. Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I said, “What on earth can it be?” Sitting up, I yawned, trying to figure it out. Scratching my head, I leaned over to the clock. Grabbing hold of it, I gazed it the dial. “It’s a quarter to four!” I grizzled. Scratching my head some more, I said, “Whoever is making that noise could have picked a better time in which to do it.”

Then I heard it again; the same noise, followed by the sound of banging and hammering. “Surely the neighbours aren’t fixing their car at this ungodly hour!” I groaned. “It has been giving them some trouble of late, but fixing it now, at a quarter to four in the morning, is going too far, so it is!”

The banging and hammering noises grew steadily louder. “It can’t be them, can it?” I growled. Getting out of bed, I shuffled across to the window. Pulling the curtains apart, I gazed outside, to their back garden. It was shrouded in darkness. “Well, it certainly ain’t them,” I said thankfully, “unless they can see in the dark.” Abandoning the curtain, I returned to bed.

I had only just laid my head on the pillow when the banging and hammering started again. Jumping out of bed, I groaned, “Will someone please tell me what is going on around here?”

Awakening from her slumbers, my wife, Breda, said, “What are you doing, Gerrard, standing at the end of the bed, ranting like a mad man?”

“I am sorry,” I answered. “I didn’t mean to awaken you.”

“Well, you did a good job of doing it,” she sarcastically replied. “What has you so worked up, anyhow?” she asked.

“It’s that noise,” I told her.

“Noise – what noise?”

“It was there a minute ago – honest it was.”

“Well, it’s not now!” she snapped. “Come to bed. You were probably having a dream.”

“More like a nightmare,” I grumbled. Approaching the widow, I pulled back the curtain, hoping to see the perpetrator going about his foul business. However, our garden, like our neighbour’s was shrouded in darkness.

“Forget about it,” Breda said to me. “On the morrow, we will go outside and see if anything is amiss. Meanwhile, get into bed lest you catch your death of cold!”

“Global warning, they keep telling us,” I said, grumbling about the weather.

“I’ll ‘global warming’ you if you don’t hush up and let me sleep!” she answered.

Suddenly, as I was letting go of the curtain an extraordinary bright flash outside secured my undivided attention.


Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks.



Tags: , , , , ,

Wikipedia Doesn’t Know Me

Wikipedia Doesn’t Know Me


Mad Eye Moody, can it really be,

That splendid interpretation, a hero so free?

Who gave up his all for the cry of the truth?

So we could know that good is forsooth.


Yes, they can all Twitter, be it here, be it there,

About American Idol and Celebrities fair,

But can they replace the genius, so fine,

Like Rowling and Dahl – or Wilson’s strange mind?


When next you are shopping in Wal-Mart, I think,

If its bargains you’re after then remember the ink,

On the paper, in the book section, where I’m waiting for sure,

To temp you with my writing so as to open that door.


And when it is open my world of strange stuff,

Will entrance and beguile you; the air will be hushed,

As you read about Alice, the Cat and the Mouse,

Harry Rotter and Jimmy – and Beetle About.


Forget about Powerball, cars and the news,

Never mind Danny Choo – who is he? I muse

Wikipedia doesn’t know me but, heck, do I care?

When I’ve got so many readers in the real world out there.


Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop, where you can purchase my eBooks.

Leave a comment

Posted by on October 14, 2013 in Stories for children


Tags: , , , , , , ,

Red-hot Chilli Cola!

Red-hot Chilli Cola!

Hot, hot – ever so hot!

New Chilli Cola,

(It burns on the spot).

Will you dare try,

A sip of this beast?

Cola so hot, it makes your eyes weep.


Hot, hot – ever so hot!

New Chilli Cola,

How I forgot;

EVERYTHING after the very first sip,

Faded away, it was burnt to a crisp.


Hot, hot – ever so hot!

New Chilli Cola,

It burns on the spot,

This is your chance,

To step up and see,

If you are made of the stuff,

To enjoy this unique treat.

Well, do you think you are up tough enough to try some?



Leave a comment

Posted by on October 14, 2013 in children's stories


Tags: , , , ,

Stone The Crows

Stone The Crows


Stone the crows.

What can you mean?

I said stone the crows.

You are awful mean,

To think you could hurt such wonderful birds,

I say stone you too, you are so absurd.


Stone the crows.

Not YOU again.

Stone the crows.

You are not my friend,

That you could maim such marvellous things,

I say stone you too, you horrible thing!


Stone the crows,

It’s a figure of speech!

Stone the crows?

It’s how I speak,

It means, Well I never,

I won’t harm the birds.

Stone the crows are such wonderful words.


Stories for children and young at heart adults

by The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH!

Leave a comment

Posted by on October 14, 2013 in poems, The Crazymad Writer


Tags: , , , ,

%d bloggers like this: